Learning how to communicate effectively — with friends, co-workers, and loved ones — is an essential skill that nobody bothers to teach us. Our school system neglects it. Our parents probably weren’t exactly genius practitioners of it, and you realize you aren’t mastering it, either.
When you have conflicts with your partner, or simply feel like you aren’t able to get your needs met, you could benefit from couples counseling. In fact, even if you aren’t having issues yet, couples counseling helps you learn communication skills so that your relationship grows stronger, not weaker, over time.
At The Soho Center for Mental Health, our expert counselors recommend couples counseling for anyone who wants to repair their relationship or keep it strong. You don’t even have to come to our Greenwich Village offices in downtown Manhattan, New York City. We offer confidential, affordable, online couples therapy, too.
Why could couples therapy be the answer you need? Here are just a few reasons.
You aren’t sure you have the same goals
Before you begin discussing your issues as a couple, your counselor asks each of you questions about your personal history as well as your goals for the relationship. You may be surprised to learn that your goals are different, or relieved to hear that — in essence — they’re the same.
Depending on their evaluation of you and your partner as individuals and as a couple, your counselor then designs a treatment program that helps you communicate better. They also teach you tools that help you manage conflicts and heal past wounds.
Your sex life isn’t what it was… or what you want it to be
No matter how much you love each other, if one person in the relationship isn’t sexually satisfied, you’re going to feel friction and may even start to drift apart. However, talking about sex on your own could lead to conflict and even trigger past traumas.
If you have different sexual needs, you might also feel neglected, on the one hand, or pressured on the other. Your expert counselor helps you talk to each other without conflict and also helps each of you understand the subconscious forces that could be driving your approach to sexuality.
You fight more than you used to
In the beginning of a relationship, we tend to see the other person as a reflection of our own best qualities or qualities we wish we had. And we also try to project our own best qualities, so that we win approval and love.
Over time, however, each couple realizes that they have many opinions and values that are distinct, not shared. When each person is convinced that they’re right, it’s hard to listen to another person’s point of view.
By acting as a neutral third party, your counselor helps you identify areas of conflict and talk about your feelings honestly without the fear of reprisal or anger. They then help you learn more effective ways to express yourself that keep your attention on your own needs and feelings, rather than blaming your partner or demanding that they change.
Someone was unfaithful
Infidelity is the second most common cause of divorce. When a partner breaks a vow to be monogamous, you may feel betrayed. The unfaithfulness could also trigger feelings of unworthiness and shame.
Your counselor helps both partners express their feelings about why the infidelity occurred and what the consequences were. If you decide to discontinue the relationship, our counselors can help with divorce mediation services.
Personal issues affect your relationship
In addition to the conflicts or disharmony you’re experiencing as a couple, one or both of you may benefit from individual counseling to help you resolve other issues. We may recommend that you or your partner receive treatment for:
In couples therapy, each of you also learns communication skills that you’ll be able to use in all of your interactions with people outside the relationship, including other family members, friends, and co-workers.
Use our online form, or call our friendly staff during office hours to book a couples counseling session today. You can also choose teletherapy that’s conducted through confidential and affordable video/phone consultations.