Signs Your Anger Is Out-of-Control

The pandemic and the isolation of quarantine have caused an uptick in mental health disorders, including depression. One out of every four women or men in the United States reported feeling depressed or anxious in 2020, compared with just one in 10 in 2019.

A commonly ignored sign of depression is out-of-control anger. Men, especially, are prone to expressing their depression through anger. But anyone can have anger issues that threaten their wellbeing.

Although it’s normal to feel angry at injustice, restriction, loss of income, or loss of love, sometimes the anger takes you over in ways that hurt you and your loved ones. That’s why our expert counselors at The Soho Center for Mental Health offer anger management at our offices in Greenwich Village, Manhattan, New York City, and through secure teletherapy sessions.

Taking your anger seriously and learning new coping techniques put you back in the driver’s seat of your emotions. Following are some signs that your anger is out-of-control and could benefit from learning new ways to deal with it:

Your default mood is irritation, grumpiness, or anger

Short bursts of feeling angry when you’re in a stressful situation are normal. However, if you wake up in a bad mood and go to bed in a bad mood, your anger has become your default mode of being and expressing.

You may attribute your mood to external forces, like trouble at work or in the home. Or the constant bad news that floods your phone. Or you may not even be able to identify the triggers for your anger.

Chronic anger takes a toll on your relationships and your health. Anger raises cortisol, adrenaline, and other hormones that keep your body in a fight-or-flight state. Fight-or-flight serves you well in moments of extreme stress. But over time, it exhausts your body and impairs your ability to make good decisions.

You feel persecuted or hopeless

There’s plenty of injustice in the world, particularly right now. You may have to face discrimination in your life, or may feel like the avenues of success are barred against you.

Your reasons for anger may be 100% justified. However, that doesn’t mean you need to live in your angry feelings and let them upset the balance of your life. Through anger management’s cognitive behavioral techniques, you learn to identify stressors and change your reaction to them. That way, you can face the injustices of the world without damaging yourself or others.

You hurt other people or yourself

When you’re angry, you may have a short temper that can’t tolerate the frailties of those around you. If you and your partner or other family members are fighting a lot, or if you insult others or lash out at them, your anger isn’t serving you. Or them.

Anger management helps you identify the sources of your anger or irritation without blame or recrimination. You learn how to express yourself clearly so that the other person understands your position, without feeling like they’re being blamed or verbally assaulted. 

If you’ve ever struck another person in anger, then your anger is out-of-control (unless you were in a life-threatening situation). Violence toward others doesn’t resolve the source of your conflict and puts both you and them in danger. 

Part of anger management treatment is learning to translate the need to take action physically into more productive solutions, such as walking away from a stressful situation. You also learn to calm your nervous system with deep breathing and other techniques so that you can calmly discuss why you’re angry without blaming the other person.

Self-harm and suicidal ideation are also signs of depression that may be connected with anger. If you feel hopeless or entertain ideas of ending your life, contact the National Suicide Prevention hotline right away. Phone 1-800-273-8255, or use the online chat. 

Take control of your anger today by finding out more about anger management . Contact us with our online form, or call our friendly staff during office hours to schedule a consultation. You may also choose teletherapy, which we conduct through confidential and affordable video/phone consultations.

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