Is Your Relationship Healthy? 5 Telltale Signs to Look For

Almost every new relationship starts with a flurry of emotions and a rush of hormones that make you feel euphoric and optimistic. Eventually, the chemistry settles down. And so do the two of you.

As you get to know the real “you”s, you may start to wonder whether your romance has the staying power to turn into a long-term, trusting, and loving relationship that can weather life’s storms. Fighting from time to time is normal, right? And you don’t have to always feel that initial rush of excitement when you see your partner, do you?

At The Soho Center for Mental Health Counseling, we know how nourishing a healthy relationship can be; we want to help you achieve that goal. If you and your partner have doubts about your relationship or if you’d benefit from new skills, we offer online and in-person couples counseling for any stage of your relationship.

Is your relationship healthy? The following are five of the telltale signs that you may have the right dynamic for long-term success.

1. You communicate well

Communication can be one of the most challenging aspects of any relationship, whether romantic, platonic, or collegial. You can see from our national discourse that few people have mastered the skills needed to express themselves clearly without blaming and to listen actively without interrupting.

If you’re able to tell your partner how you feel and they don’t put up a wall or respond angrily, you’re probably on the right track. Even with difficult discussions, you should each have the chance to put forth your position without interruption, and to actively listen to and absorb your partner’s response.

2. You respect and trust one another

Once infatuation falls away, you begin to see each other’s flaws. Flaws aren’t a dealbreaker: Overreacting to them might be. Both you and your partner should be able to treat each other kindly and respectfully, even if you have a habit, quality, or opinion that irks the other.

Respect and trust go hand-in-hand. If you feel confident that your partner respects you and has your back, you’re more likely to trust them to make decisions that benefit both of you. You should feel trust in all areas of your life, whether it’s fidelity, how to handle finances, or how to raise your kids.

Trust means, too, that you make decisions together as a couple. This can be as mundane as deciding where to go out to eat or as life-changing as whether to have kids or not. 

3. You support each other’s goals

The people you were when you met may not be the people you are today. As individuals and as couples, our goals change over time.

In an unhealthy relationship, one partner may feel threatened if their significant other alters their plans or goals. In a healthy relationship, you accommodate one another as you shift and grow. If you feel threatened by changes you see in your partner, or if they try to hold you back from your own growth, you may benefit from counseling during the adjustment period.

4. You respect boundaries

Healthy couples don’t have to spend all their time together and share every passing thought. In fact, being too intertwined may be a sign of co-dependency rather than nurturing love.

You and your partner may have different ideas about how much affection or sex is appropriate, but you have managed to come to a compromise that works for both of you. You may also have hobbies or friends that you don’t share. And that’s fine. Healthy relationships allow for independence, too.

5. You forgive one another

Nobody’s perfect, and neither is any couple. At some point, one of you may do something or say something hurtful. But if you’re in a healthy relationship, you’re able to discuss your feelings and find a way toward forgiveness. Sometimes you may need a third party to hold a safe space when there’s been a profound transgression, such as unfaithfulness.

Even if your relationship is healthy, you may wish to make it even better. Explore couples counseling by phoning or scheduling an online appointment with our helpful office staff at our Greenwich Village offices in New York City, New York. HIPAA-compliant teletherapy sessions are also available.