How to Talk to Loved Ones About Your Depression

When you’re depressed, you need the support of a therapist, but you’d also benefit from the support of those nearest and dearest to you. Still, it can be hard to talk about your depression. How do you start? And who should you talk to first?

Depression ranks as the second most common mental health condition in the United States. Anxiety is the first. Depression rates among adolescents and adults have climbed almost 200% over the last decade.

Despite the increase in cases of depression and the greater social acceptance of mental illness, only about 40% of those with depression get treatment. Sometimes, you’re afraid to seek treatment or share your feelings with those around you because you’re afraid of being judged, or you don’t take your illness seriously yourself.

At The Soho Center for Mental Health Counseling, our caring, highly trained counselors encourage you to seek support and treatment for depression at our offices in Greenwich Village, New York City, New York, or via teletherapy. We also strongly encourage you to find trusted friends and family members to confide in, too.

How do you start to talk to your loved ones about your depression? These few tips can help.

Whom do you trust most?

When you want to talk about something as deeply personal as depression, pick the person that you trust most in the world. Someone who always has your back. That could be anyone from a friend to a family member to an authority figure.

Not sure who in your life is the most trustworthy and stable? Consider people such as:

Parent or guardian
Grandparent, aunt, uncle, or other relative
Sibling
Respected teacher
Guidance counselor
Long-term friend
Friend
Sibling
Coach
Pastor or spiritual adviser

If none of those feel safe to you, talk to us first, or reach out to the National Helpline sponsored by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

Pick a safe, private place to talk

You don’t want to open up about your struggles in an extremely public place, where you could be interrupted or run into someone you wouldn’t want to know about your personal life. You might pick:

Strolling in a park
Riding in a car
Hanging out at home

Wherever you go, you and your loved one should be comfortable, safe, and private. Make a firm date — both day and time — so you both know to be there.

Tell your story

When you meet with your loved one, take some time to tell them about your feelings. When did you first notice a change in your mood and attitude? Was it attached to an event, such as a disappointment or loss?

You might even want to write down a few notes to remind yourself about why you think you’re depressed and how it’s affected your life. If you can, think of a few examples, such as, “I knew I was depressed when I didn’t want to _____ anymore. That used to be one of my favorite things to do in the world.”

Share what you know

If you’ve been learning about depression — either through your counselor or on your own — share your knowledge with your loved one. They may dismiss your “blues” as just a normal part of growing up, getting older, or going through life changes, etc.

Emphasize that these feelings aren’t normal for you and that they’re negatively affecting your life. You can tell them, for instance, that depression isn’t just sadness or something you can “get over.” Depression changes the way your brain works. Maybe you’ve stopped going to work. Or your grades have suffered.

Ask for help

If you haven’t found a counselor yet, ask your person to help you find someone who’s a good match. They can come with you to consultations, too, to lend support.

Or, if you have a counselor, ask your friend if they’d be open to being your therapy buddy. As you learn new ways of talking to yourself and interpreting the world around you, you can share your new knowledge with them. They can help you stay on track, just like they would if you’d set other goals together.

Try and try again

If the person you chose turns out to be inadequate for the task, don’t give up. Go down your list and find someone else to share with and ask for help. And, of course, reach out to us for professional counseling.

Don’t try to “tough it out.”

Whatever you do, don’t try to “get over” depression on your own. Depression is a serious mental illness. It isn’t just sadness or feeling down. And if you’re considering suicide, call or text the 988 Lifeline immediately.

To get the support and help you need with depression, please phone us or schedule an online appointment with our helpful office staff. You could also choose convenient, HIPAA-compliant teletherapy sessions.